So, I just spent the last hour in Bridger's room with him, trying to get him to go to sleep. To say I am frustrated would be putting it mildly. So here is where I need advice.
What kind of bedtime routine do you have for your kiddos? How do you get them to go to sleep without you at their bedside?
Now, before you think I am a terrible mother, he used to have a bedtime routine. He used to go to sleep all by himself. Used to... One day, he just quit. Seriously. I laid him in bed one night and he wouldn't go to sleep unless one of us was in there. It's been 8 or 9 months since that day. I am tired of waiting for him to go to sleep. I don't mind if he doesn't go to sleep right away, I just don't want to sit in his room waiting for it to happen. I have even resorted to not making him go to bed, just letting him fall asleep wherever he is, at whatever time, and taking him to bed. Not the best strategy, but when I am exhausted at the end of the day I don't really feel like fighting bed time.
Any advice you have on the subject would be much appreciated.
*as a side note, Corbin doesn't mind going to bed or sleep on his own...a quality I hope he never gives up.
13 comments:
Ugh. Stinking free agency. When Bryson starting doing that, I gave him the option to look at books in bed until he fell asleep, but to my advantage, he loved books.... if he got out of bed, no more books for the night... when he'd get up the first time, I'd explain that, and put him back into bed, any subsequent trips out of bed and I said nothing, just put him back in bed.... it took a (long) while, and I definitely lost my cool many times, but eventually either it worked, or he grew out of it cause he goes to bed great now... I only wish I could fall asleep that fast!! Hope it helps!! Or you could try Nathan's mom's tactic- she tied Nathan's ankle to the bed *grin*
You are not a bad mom. I don't have a set bedtime routine besides that at 8:30 we go up stairs and get in jammies. Alex gets a cup of milk and then I lay him in bed we do a pray and I leave. He falls asleep. But this isn't how it always was. He was the same way didn't want to fall asleep unless I was in his room sitting on his bed with him. So one day I had enough and his doctor just told me to let him cry it out and fall asleep. So for a few nights I changed the knobs on his door and put the lock on the outside and locked him in his room. If he cried for longer than 30 min I would go and check on him. This only lasted a week. Now we have no problem with bedtime. I know it might sound mean but his doctor said there isn't anything wrong with it. In the end it will work out.
Eek...sorry, I can't do the whole cry themselves to sleep when they are that old. Don't you think he'll be traumatized? How is that going to calm him down to go to sleep when he is freaking out and screaming so hard and his blood pressure raises?
Every kid is different so you are going to have to try things and find something that works for you. I have had similar problems off and on in the past, believe me. Explain to him what's going to go on. Gradually sit farther and farther away from his bed until you are in the doorway. Get a book to read for yourself. Stay there for a week or so, so he feels safe, but then keep moving back. Get him a favorite stuffed animal or books. Stuff to help him feel secure and fall asleep. Then eventually you are just going to have to leave and let him fall asleep on his own. Tell him you'll come back to check on him maybe? Just keep putting him back in his bed. After the first time or so, don't keep talking to him, just back in his bed. Back in his bed.
We have a pretty scheduled bedtime routine before that too. Jammies, brush, floss, rinse, pee, prayer, stories, hug, kiss, goodbye.
I don't know Collette, my kids go to sleep pretty good, but now I'm dealing with Keira trying to sneak into my bed around 1am every night. Ahh....sleep issues, will they ever end?
Collette - - your friend Candy's plan is great. Keep moving further and further away from the door. You have to be consistant even if you are tired. Let him know what the plan is and don't change it. At this age he knows he can get what he wants. Now it's time to let him know you are in charge. It really shouldn't take too long but if it returns go back to the same plan. Now is the time to get a handle on this before you have #3. Good luck
I think we have told you before how we do it the Mogle home....Connor sleeps in our room. His lovely mattress is on the floor right next to our bed. He would NOT sleep in his own room and would wake up every single night screaming so this is what we have resorted to!!! Probably not the best advice but it has worked miracles in the Mogle home! Good luck! Bedtime is certainly not our expertise.
Ever since we moved the kids into the same room, they talk, laugh, and mess around until like 10:00 p.m. sometimes. And, they constantly cry for us to snuggle with them. We have gotten to the point of laying down with them, and counting out loud to 50 or 100. 100 if they were being good about brushing, and stuff before bed. We, too, have a very set schedule of bath time, jammies, teeth, books, and then bed. Candy's suggestion is great. I have camped out in the bathroom across from their bedroom, so they see me, but I'm not in bed with them. Now, they know that we are just watching TV in the living room, and I let them get out of bed, and look at us. They have fallen asleep on the floor watching us before. I have never locked them in their bedroom, but do what you can handle, I guess. Tay was so great, until we moved Rohne in bed with her. Sleep issues are never ending. Good luck.
That's tough. My SIL's dr said to put vaseline on the doorknob to keep them in (similar to the backwards lock idea). I think that her dr said to check on them to make sure there isn't anything "wrong" and put them back in bed the first time. Then, don't go back. My SIL said that after 2 days her kids stayed in bed. Personally, I don't think it would traumatize them. But, it depends on the child. Carie cries for 30 minutes straight often in tantrums. We're about to the point of trying this with her. She's had a rough bedtime for the past couple of weeks. Good luck!
Oh, one more thing. If we do the vaseline-on-the-doorknob trick, we'll open the door a crack when we go to bed in case of emergency. We've been lucky that our kids don't have a problem with getting out in the middle of the night for the most part.
Call me a mean mom, but I'm a fan of letting them cry it out. It's not fun for you or for them at first, but it doesn't take long for them to figure out that mom isn't going to come back. I usually wait at the door (where they cannot see me) to make sure they aren't doing anything bad or hurting themselves). It's a tough road, I don't envy you.
My kids don't need me in their room, but a light has to be on in the hall and it drives me crazy! I need to let it go!!!
I've been thinking of anything I could share but I'm not at that stage yet. The only thing I think that might be helpful is the book, "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child". It addresses sleep issues at all ages. And it addresses the methods of crying it out and not crying it out. Hope that helps!
I sure do Feel for you. Since Aaron has been at bootcamp, our bed time schedule has changed. We have a family bed and I love it. Since we are living with my parents for the next 6 months while Aaron is in training, we have had to change some things around for the kids. Dakota sleeps in his own bed but it's in the same room as I am in. Which we have always done. Kingston is in bed with me, and as of last night Dakota is in bed with me as well.
We take a bath, read, say our prayers and if Kodi has been good I let him watch some of his movie before bed.
This is my advice do what works for your family. If the Cry it out method works than do that. If not don't, I tried it I HATED IT.
I found that snuggling them worked for me. They both go to bed rightaway for me now when I snuggle with them. I hope you have some better nights ahead of you.
Looks like you have great advice. With Ashlee, we just laid next to her until she passed out. It was a pain but when she was old enough I just explained she would have to go to sleep or we couldn't do something fun the next day. I tried to give her something to look forward to. When Gabe came along he was just a pain. He would wiggle even though he was so tired so I literally had to pin him down. I body hugged him. He would get so mad and I would tell him if he would calm down and go to sleep I would loosen up. That worked. Then we had Brayden. Now Gabe just tells him to go to sleep. That helps but I have also invested in a really BIG spoon. HAha! Katie is sweet as she can be and is not to that rebelling stage yet. Good luck!
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