I didn't want to go this morning. I even tried to talk Brent out of it. I know, I'm a bad influence. The thought of dealing with my two boys, who struggle in 1 hour of Sacrament meeting, for two hours made me want to crawl in a hole. But, we went. And we were happy about it. Ok, so I could have had a much better attitude.
I made us go earlier than Brent wanted to and then there still weren't any soft benches...grrr...We did get prime seats by the door which are better than soft cushioned ones. The boys were kind of off the wall before everything started. About 10 minutes into it Corbin freaked out and started screaming so Brent took him out and he promptly (well, pretty promptly) fell asleep. Bridger sat pretty well and played with the stuff we brought to keep them entertained. He had to go to the bathroom a couple of times, but over all did great.
So as the meeting is starting and my boys are starting to go crazy I'm thinking why, oh why, did I think we could do this? We should just leave now and save the headache. Yeah, I had a great attitude, I told you. I found myself thinking is anyone enjoying this?! So I said a little prayer in my heart that I would have a better attitude and be able to get something out of the meeting, so I didn't go home feeling completely frazzled.
Shortly after, like I said, Corbin fell asleep and Bridger was content to sit quietly and do whatever he was doing (books, I Spy, just sitting, etc.). I found myself actually listening to the talks and testimonies. It was great. The area authority spoke on being selfless and serving others more. It was one of those moments when I knew we needed to be at this meeting. It seems like lately I've been feeling so sorry for myself, well, kind of. I haven't had the patience with the boys that they need. I want to get my things done and I haven't given them the attention that they so desperately need. As they (he and his wife) spoke I realized that if I spend more time focusing on my boys and my family (my biggest responsibility) I will naturally have more time for myself. I know, still pretty selfish, but its a step in the right direction. The boys will not be throwing the fits, they might play together and not just whine if they think their mom is acutally interested in them...you get the idea. It was a good message and something that I needed to hear.
I had tears in my eyes as we sang the closing song as I realized that my silent little prayer had been answered. My attitude had changed and I was so grateful that Brent gave me "the look" when I suggested we just skip. My boys had been extra good and Brent was willing to deal with the couple of moments that Corbin needed to be taken out. I had heard a message that I felt I needed to hear. Now I just need to work on implementing it in my life.
4 comments:
It's great when those small prayers are answered, it is definitely a huge testimony builder! There have been times that I have felt the same way, but we still go, because we know that in the long term, it will be good for us and our children. And, as always, we are glad that we went.
Now I feel very guilty to admit that we have yet to take our kids to Stake Conference. (Except when Tay was a small baby) I always just think that it's not worth the hassel, and it will just be a huge fight, and I won't get anything out of it. Thanks for sharing this experience. Maybe next time we will go! Spend as much time with your boys doing really fun things before your precious little girly enters the picture. I WANT to play with my other kids, and do what I can, but, newborns are a lot of work, and I know my other ones feel neglected. Thank goodness for husbands, who like to come home and play.
Great reminder Collette. You are not alone in feeling the way that you do. Thanks so much for sharing. I've been having one of those "feel sorry for myself" days too. When we put the Lord first he truly does bless us.
It's those moments when we don't want to go that the Lord has the largest blessings in store. Love you!!
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